Life.

I'm sorry i didn't write in awhile. oh gosh, i do hope u know how I'm feeling right now. my chest hurts so badly. I can't seem to think. I do not understand why some people misunderstood me. and I'm getting really really tired of trying to make everyone happy. No one seems to understand. and it is almost impossible to find someone to talk to nowadays. I've tried pretending that everything is going to be alright, and i believed if i can make myself think that way, it IS going to be alright. but how wrong i was. The more i keep it to myself, the more it hurts. I feel like screaming, hitting something, just practically let myself out. but it is quite impossible to do something like that without hurting myself or disturbing others. So yea. I really do not want people to think that I'm unhappy. Especially my friends. Some of them really turn to me when they have problems, even my mom. To me, I NEED to be strong for them. I want them to know that there's nothing to worry 'cause whatever happens, I'm still going to be here for them and that I won't let them down, or fall. And I can't probably help other people if me, myself is weak, can I? THAT is why i need to appear strong all the time. Even if I'm not :/